Coming Soon...

Stay tuned to FTM for some archived articles that never made it onto the blog, the debut of S.O.S. and the return of A-Musings!

FTM Is Back!

Helloooooo everyone!

It is with great pleasure and anticipation that I am re-launching Foolish Things Ministries!

For those of you who are joining us for the first time, let me just take a moment to explain to you what in the world is going on here. Foolish Things Ministry is - in essence - a blog. But it's so much more!

FTM (Foolish Things Ministries) was birthed on a blustery September day twenty-eight years ago, when I came into this world. Since that moment, I have been blessed with a unique ability to get myself into unbelievable situations that would never happen to anyone else. My job, as president, founder and C.E.O. of FTM, is to write them down and share them with the world so that the world can laugh. That's why our motto is "Our Embarrassment Is Your Entertainment."

FTM began with a series called Amy's Great Adventures (AGA) back in the year 2001. You can find all of the old AGA episodes in the archives, so that you can catch up on any of the episodes you've missed. We then developed a segment called A-Musings in 2006, which is basically just a smorgasbord of really random thoughts. We were going to called Things That We Think When We're Supposed To Be Doing Something Else, but we thought it was too long. So A-Musings it is.

We are also VERY excited to have recently merged with S.O.S., Inc (Stomp on Satan). SOS postings have been a part of FTM for a couple of years now (see Episode Guide) but will be much more prominently featured in late 2008 and 2009. These postings are the more "serious" side of FTM - but certainly adhere to our mission statement of proving the legitimacy of 1 Corinthians 1:27.

We at FTM LOVE to hear from our readers, so if you read a post, please feel free to leave a comment (just click on "comments") or drop us an email at foolishthingsministries@gmail.com.

SO HOW DOES THIS WORK?

• Immediately below this post is an Episode Guide. You can take a look through this guide to find an episode that you find intriguing - or you could just start at the bottom and work your way to the top in chronological order. There is a new AGA episode posted right after the Episode Guide.
  
• Each episode has a label to let you know what kind of episode it is. These labels are located at the end of each blog and also on the right hand side of the FTM home page. If you click on the label, it will take you to only those episodes that fit the label. Here's the key:

AGA - Amy's Great Adventure (a crazy story of something that would ONLY happen to me)
AMU - A-Musings (random thoughts that don't necessarily involve a story)
INFO - Information on Foolish Things Ministries, the blog, etc.
SOS - Stomp on Satan (thoughts on Christianity, faith, etc.)

• Once you've read an episode, please post a comment! Feel free to email us at foolishthingsministries@gmail.com if you have questions, comments or suggestions.

Happy reading!

FTM Episode Guide

If you're new to FTM and not sure which episodes to check out, here's a handy episode guide (from most recent to oldest) so that you can figure out where to begin!

Crabbs and Coat Hangers

After a two-and-a-half year hiatus, FTM is back! This AGA features a near-fiasco involving Jason Crabb, reggaeton, a near arrest and a good old-fashioned coat hanger. Welcome back!

Of Mice (and Roaches) and Men

This AGA episode features Stan the Roach and Norm & Babycakes the Mice (three unforgettable characters) and draws some conclusions about the origins of these type of creatures. Bonus feature: an interpretation of Adam and Eve’s first encounter with a roach.

A-Musings II: Gotta Go to God’s

A-Musings continues with some thoughts on spiritual gifts as well as FTM’s first short skit that puts a twist on a familiar passage of Scripture…

A-Musings I: Reject Demons and Ram Rights

The introduction to the A-Musings segment begins here with some discourse about “mailer-daemon,” as well as a plea for awareness and respect to an oft-forgotten Biblical character…

Putting My Best Foot Forward

Another favorite, this FTM features New Jersey – which should be enough said right there. This ironic tale features Min, directional miscues and a pair of shoes unlike any other…

Thanks, BRIAN.

The brief story of how FTM became famous through the unlikely agent of Pastor Brian Pettrey, as well as some tips and tricks about navigating through FTM.

Intro, yo.

A short AGA designed to introduce the reader to the types of things that AGAs entail – insanity and a shortage of common sense!...

If You’re New…

If you’re an FTM first-timer, check out this brief blog for a history of FTM before delving into the archives!

The Keys to Success

To this day, I still don’t know how on earth this happened. Car towage, key lockage and a host of other misfortunes await!...

The Anti-Ghetto

Possibly my personal favorite AGA, this story involves a WHOLE lot of misfortune coupled with a lack of common sense and a small dose of healthy sarcasm. A full-fledged AGA that could ONLY happen to yours truly…

Shower Power

Find out what happens when you pray, “Lord, give me someone to share the gospel with today.” You just might end up in an unexpected situation, much to the amusement of your roommates…

Are You From… Where?

Although technically still an AGA, this is really a testimony and an exhortation to those who are a bit tentative about sharing the gospel – if you’ve ever felt nervous or intimidated by the idea of witnessing for the Lord, this one’s for you…

I’m NOT an Alcoholic…

This adventurette shows what happens when Amy decides to take a stand for her beliefs at the end of her New York City Teaching Fellows summer training… with hilarious and unintended results.

Under the Influence

This AGA episode features the first hints of SOS, Inc in the form of an actual testimony, combined with the hilarious hijinks involved in Amy’s first surgical experience…

(Un)Noticed

Many famous AGA terms and characters (Double Black Diamond Neighborhood, Needle-Flick Nurse) come from this diverse episode that takes us from the streets of Crown Heights to a Manhattan doctor’s office and ends with an unforgettable subway experience…

Subway Pregnancy

Want to know what it’s like to be called pregnant on board a crowded Q train? Check out this episode – the damage control attempts alone are worth the read…

The Slam Heard Round The World

A personal favorite Adventure, this episode shows what happens when an attempt to avoid Car Door Shock goes drastically wrong in the parking lot of a Stop N Shop…

Cross Eyed

The original AGA episode! With alarming parallel’s to the 2008 Transitions Retreat, read about how an unsuspecting alto got decked in the face with a large wooden cross before a gospel concert…

Thanks, BRIAN.

So, if you missed the excitement, last night at Transitions, Brian had a Great Idea. It began with the innocuous words, "Amy, could you stand up for a minute?"

I said, "No."

Well, actually, I said, "*looks around*... me?," which was extremely intelligent considering he had just said my name and was staring at me. But I almost said, "No."

Why, you may ask? Because I had NO IDEA what Brian was about to say. And all I could do was slowly stand up, give a little wave, and think OH MY GOODNESS WHAT HAVE I DONE THAT WOULD MAKE BRIAN ASK ME TO STAND???? Master's degree? No, that was last summer. Birthday? Not even close. Oh my goodness... what if he tells some embarrasing story about me? I don't want people knowing if I do stupid things!

*badoom crash*

Brian continued, taking his time with each syllable, "Amy has just recently--"

WHAT HAS AMY RECENTLY DONE???
Graduated? No.
Moved? No.
Had a baby? Only one virgin birth.
Gotten married? Probably would have remembered that.

And if you're thinking "there's no way you could have thought all of that in the time it took for Brian to say one sentence," then you have never entered into the depths of my mind, which is a blessing that you should treasure with all of your heart.

--started a website blah blah blah blah."

To which I gave the sophisticated and eloquent response, "NO... WAY."

By the end of the torture, I had introduced FTM (Foolish Things Ministries) and given out this website. I then realized that newcomers would be completely clueless as to what in the world was going on here, and therefore would fit right in with the staff here at FTM.

No, seriously, I didn't want people to be confused-- that's not part of our mission statement. So please note the following announcements and stay tuned for the next post, which will be called "Reject Demons and Ram Rights" and will kick off the A-musings series at FTM.

• If you are new to FTM, please read the post entitled "If You're New..." It can be found under the section called "Previous" on the right hand side of the post.
• We now have an e-mail address that you can write to at any time with suggestions, questions, comments, complaints, criticisms and compliments. Nice and simple: foolishthingsministries@gmail.com.
• If you would like to leave a comment on any post, PLEASE don't post as anonymous. If you click on the option that says "other," you can just leave your name and just ignore the part that says "website," unless you want to enter one.
• All archived AGA (Amy's Great Adventures) episodes are now online! If you'd like to read any previous episodes, just click on the link under "Archives" that goes with the date of the episode. Each month listed has a new episode and there are 10 of them! :)

If You're New...

Welcome to FTM! If you're joining us for the first time, let me just take a moment to explain to you what in the world is going on here.

FTM (Foolish Things Ministries) was birthed on a blustery September day twenty-five years ago, when I came into this world. Since that moment, I have been blessed with a unique ability to get myself into unbelievable situations that would never happen to anyone else. My job, as president and founder of FTM, is to write them down and share them with the world so that they can laugh. That's why our motto is "Our Embarrasment Is Your Entertainment."

FTM began with a series called Amy's Great Adventures (AGA) back in the year 2001. You can find all of the old AGA episodes in the archives, so that you can catch up on all of the episodes you've missed. We have just recently developed a segment called A-musings, which is basically just a smorgasbord of really random thoughts. We were going to called Things That We Think When We're Supposed To Be Doing Something Else, but we thought it was too long. So A-musings it is.

We at FTM LOVE to hear from our readers, so if you read a post, please feel free to leave a comment (just click on "comments") or drop us an email at foolishthingsministries@gmail.com.