Intro, yo.

Welcome, friends, to Foolish Things Ministries!

If you are a long-standing partner with FTM, you are already aware of our reputation for being a top-notch provider of high-quality hijinks. If you're new, we welcome you to the team and encourage you to have absolutely no expectations whatsoever. That way, we'll probably exceed them.

I just recently gained full custody of Min (my 1997 Chevy Lumina), who has been driven and crashed by more of my friends than any other car that I am aware of *applause*. However, despite having been a licensed driver for almost ten years... it seems as though I might need a refresher course on the basics.

yeah, okay, so this isn't Min. but it's a REALLY cool picture.

I had just frantically pulled up in front of 202 Flatbush last Saturday morning. I did not want to be late for drama rehearsal, but my contact lenses were threatening to become part of my eye if I did not assuage them with some eye drops... so I left my compatriot (shout out to PJC) watching the car while I dashed upstairs. I grabbed what I needed and flew back out the door, nearly tripping on a huge garbage bag on the landing, and jumped back into Min. I looked behind me, put the car in reverse, and lighly tapped on the gas.

Something was wrong!! Min was not responding!! Code blue! The car began slowly rolling backwards down Flatbush Avenue. I tried slamming on the brakes but it was like they were stuck in molasses. I'm in full Panic Mode at this point, trying again to shift back into neutral, or into drive. I had both feet pressed as hard as I could against the brake and Min finally stopped. I frenetically rolled down my window and screamed out to my friend, who had just crossed the street, "HELP!! MIN IS UNCONSCIOUS!!"

He walked over, shook his head, and said, "Turn the car on, Amy."

Oh yeah. Oops.